The Importance of Routine

 

“Analytical, intelligent, serious, and upstanding, Simon Lexington is a highly motivated investigator. He prefers to let his body of work speak for itself. Work that is always done thoroughly, diligently, and comprehensively. He maintains a strong and athletic physique year round, and the time he finds to get to the gym has always been an unsolvable mystery to Bill…”

-Demons Within, On Detective Simon Lexington

 

Not everyone can be Simon Lexington, but everyone can have a routine. And a healthy routine is of paramount importance for those suffering from mental illness, alcoholism, and addiction. Without routine, one is left to their own devices, and for those suffering from the afflictions just mentioned, running on self-will has only led them to despair, despondency, and in extreme cases, death.

Almost every therapist, life coach, self-help ‘guru’, and mentor, advises on setting up a daily routine that provides the motivation and mindfulness required to live life with purpose. They often suggest waking up at 5am, taking cold showers, and only eating organic food. Some say 5am isn’t early enough, and push for a 3am wake up time and a 4am high intensity workout, followed by a shower that alternates between scorching hot and freezing cold water. Sounds preposterous, but who am I to judge?

And while all that is fine and dandy, and could prove beneficial to your life, the routine I’m talking about is a routine of spiritual nourishment. A routine to free the soul. When it comes down to it, all we really are is a soul propping up a corpse. And our soul needs exercise just like our body.

A cell deprived of its essential needs for as little as three seconds can begin to deteriorate. If the brain doesn’t get enough oxygen for more than ten minutes it can die. If you sit around all day and stop using your muscles, they will atrophy.

And all of this also rings true for the soul….so standing still is not an option.

To start your soul-strengthening daily routine, you need to keep regular hours, and you need to do your best to eat and sleep on a regular schedule. And the first thing you do when you wake up, is be grateful that you did so. I don’t care if you believe in God, the Universe, Buddha, math and science, or adhere to the principle that you’re the product of existential freedom. You wake up, and you thank your Higher Power, for giving you another chance to do the work you were born to do.

After expressing gratitude, you really start your day. Avoid drastic changes in daily diet and activities. Keep an orderly work environment and try to reduce distractions to the best of your ability. Make decisions when they arise, and do not procrastinate.  Most people can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work they are supposed to be doing at that moment. So don’t wait around to do what needs to be done. Multitask if need be, but when possible, pay attention to whatever task is directly in front of you. Divided attention can lead to confusion and weakened focus.

Find time in the day to workout, experience the outdoors and spend time in nature, and develop hobbies. Learn a language or instrument. Read books and write letters. Build relationships and connections with healthy boundaries, keeping fair-weather friends at a distance. And call on your loved ones to remind them you are there, and you are always willing to lend a tender and helping hand.

And always keep some time available to rest quietly. All you need is one or two times a day to let your body retune itself, and allow your mind to reintegrate into the present moment. Just sit back, close your eyes, and breathe. Fortify your healthy mindset through mindfulness and curiosity, and address any underlying anxiety that may have festered throughout your day.

Then, when your day is almost done, reflect on it. Write in a journal about what you did well and what you can do better. Clear out the clutter, and prepare your mind, body, and soul for the next day that awaits you. Then, you turn off the lights, and look forward to the start of your routine in the morning.

And as great as all this sounds, there will be days when you struggle to just get out of bed. Days when lying about in warm blankets and fluffy pillows seems to be the only attractive option to your mind. Days when the curtains stay closed and the comforters keep you covered. 

On these days you must ask yourself, were you made to stay in bed all day? Were you made to push away and block out the purpose of your life? Are you going to ignore the present moment, and every subsequent moment that makes up your day? The present is called the present because it truly is a gift, and squandering a gift that could be taken at any moment is never the correct answer to these questions. You have to get up, and get after it.

So just take that first step. Open the curtains and let the sunshine in. The Sun’s rays don’t discriminate. The Sun doesn’t chose to bathe some things in radiant light, while purposely leaving other things in darkness. It just rises every day, and contributes to life, growth, and warmth. Just as you should. Even when the clouds are covering the sky, the Sun is still there, shining behind the scenes. And that’s what you need to do. Let the light of your soul shine forth, and start by implementing a routine to help you do so.

And no matter what the day has in store, you can be the Sun of your own world. You just have to start shining.

 

 

Mill P

Never Forget

 

“By daylight they took sniper fire, at night they were mortared, but it was not battle, it was just the endless march, village to village, without purpose, nothing won or lost.”

-The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brian

 

Let me just start by saying I fuckin’ love Memorial Day Weekend, and I have some amazing memories from past MDW’s. Days of frolicking about on boats and beaches, with beers and barbecues, and big-boobed babes (yes...I typed that...and regret it already). With that being said, I want to bring to light some of the darker aspects of Memorial Day.

Memorial Day is a significant occasion for many Americans, commemorated with parades and tributes honoring veterans who sacrificed their lives in major historical wars such as World Wars I and II, Vietnam, Korea, and the multitude of conflicts in the Middle East. However, there tends to be less focus on combat veterans who return physically unharmed but face a different kind of battle within themselves—struggling with mental health issues caused by invisible adversaries. For these veterans, the psychological and spiritual warfare they experience, affecting their minds, emotions, and spirits, can be even more traumatic than the actual war.

Since Memorial Day is dedicated to honoring fallen servicemen and women, it can be a challenging time for veterans living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This condition triggers painful memories, images, and thoughts of traumatic events they experienced during their military service.

Many soldiers endure the reoccurrence of trauma through flashbacks or nightmares. They may exhibit anxiety, restlessness, irritability, or anger. These brave individuals often perceive themselves as murderers, monsters, or worse. Upon returning home and reintegrating into civilian life, many veterans undergo a significant distortion of their perception of war's realities.

These distortions profoundly impact how they view themselves, God, other people, and their present circumstances. Consequently, they make decisions that compromise various aspects of their lives.

PTSD is a debilitating disorder that affects all areas of life for a growing number of veterans. They struggle with daily activities crucial for survival, such as eating and sleeping, as well as more normal functions like maintaining employment or healthy relationships. Some turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to numb the pain, alleviate agitation, or escape the constant state of hyper-vigilance, only to find themselves trapped in addiction, exacerbating the problems caused by PTSD.

The ravages of war, compounded by the re-traumatization of PTSD, further intensified by the damaging effects of alcohol, drugs, isolation, and broken relationships, necessitate intensive psychological and spiritual care. It is only through the power of helping hands that a veteran can make sense of the war's atrocities, and begin to heal the deep wounds that resurface, particularly on Memorial Day—a day that reminds them of the darkest moments of their lives.

Sadly, suicide has become the leading cause of death among active duty and retired military personnel. While all branches of the military now devote time to suicide awareness and prevention, the stigma associated with seeking help remains a significant barrier for many fighters.

Although awareness of PTSD has increased in recent years due to the large number of soldiers returning from war zones like Iraq and Afghanistan, society is gradually realizing that the mental impact of war is more debilitating than previously believed. It affects a veteran's overall ability to reintegrate into civilian life and care for themselves. Local churches have a crucial role to play in providing assistance and support to returning soldiers.

As someone in the trenches of the battles with mental illness and addiction, I see the mind of “psychologically wounded” veterans as Satan’s playground. The devil is the great deceiver who twists the realities of war into something far more nefarious, and urges us to take a very self-centered point of view, rather than keeping our focus on the important things that can heal us. It is the job of all people to provide not only spiritual support, but to be the hands and feet of the nation by organizing support groups for veterans and their families, or when possible, by helping with jobs, networking opportunities, or interim needs like food or housing assistance.

So please, remember not only the fallen, but the walking wounded…both physically and mentally. We are all in this together. Never forget that.

 

 

Mill P

Here are some links to donate or support reputable organizations:

Wounded Warrior Project

Semper Fi Fund

Operation Second Chance

Gratitude

 

“…the new me just says ‘that’s ok.’ Because it is. And I don’t blame them or resent them in any way whatsoever. And while I still pray for them all the time, their absence just allows me to feel even more gratitude for those who have stayed with me.”

-Demons Within

 

In an upcoming article on the importance of routine, I will advise that the first thought of the day should be one of gratitude. A sincere appreciation for waking up, and being given another day to live with purpose, compassion, and perseverance.

This sentiment is often easier said than done, especially when the day gets going and you have to start interacting with the people, places, and things that are intertwined with your life, and completely out of your control. And it can be a truly difficult task for the people who suffer from diseases of addiction, and the plethora of mental illnesses that run rampant throughout the world.

Sometimes, it’s just not easy to see the grateful perspective of a difficult situation, and trying to reframe your thought patterns can take some work. This work includes, but is not limited to, the tried and true methods of quiet introspection, centering yourself in the present moment, or talking it out with a qualified professional or group of trusted acquaintances. Sometimes, a situation that is initially perceived as difficult is only a minor issue, and simply smiling can pull you out of your angst, and push you into an attitude of gratitude.

Technically speaking, it’s 2.5 times easier for your face to smile than to frown. It takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile. And smiling is known to stimulate the nervous system, compelling it to produce hormones that give a pleasant feeling and an anesthetic effect. So if something pops up in your life, and you feel the seeds of anger or resentment or frustration or fear beginning to sprout, just smile. Smile through the annoying feelings, and move on. And if smiling isn’t enough, if the problem is a little more burdensome, then do the aforementioned work to get yourself back to a place of gratitude.

The antidote to anger and fear is gratitude. It’s virtually impossible for anger and fear to coexist alongside gratitude. And as technology becomes more advanced, and scientific capabilities and innovations expand to new heights, the data that supports the power of sincere gratitude is moving beyond anecdotal evidence.

Research shows that feelings of genuine gratitude and appreciation boost the neurotransmitter serotonin and activate the brain stem to produce dopamine. Studies have also shown that feeling grateful can improve sleep, mood, and immunity. It can decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain, and risk of disease. A study by Brown and Wong found that practicing gratitude on top of receiving psychological counseling carries greater benefits than counseling alone, even when that gratitude practice is brief. Gratitude unshackles people from toxic emotions, and it has lasting effects on the brain.

And everyone has more to be grateful for than they realize. Even the person who is at their all time low, the absolute bottom of all rock bottoms, can find something that they have to be grateful for. Sometimes it’s just about perspective. A group of golfers may get angry at the rainfall that interrupts their game, but that same rainfall can bring intense joy and relief to the old farmer who’s withering crops needed a good watering.

Too often, people don’t remember to give thought to all the things in their life that they can appreciate. They don’t take time to reflect on their gratitude because they are too preoccupied with the hustle, bustle, and emotional scuffle of everyday life. The ‘woe-is-me’ attitude, which directly opposes the attitude of gratitude.

They allow their minds to fill up with grievances. And the more attention they give to those grievances, those perceived injustices, and those unnecessary resentments, the more monumental they seem. Holding onto the darkness, and ignoring the things they should be grateful for, just fuels the fire of negativity. Instead of just letting go, they allow their minds to be controlled by negative thinking into which their thoughts are apt to stay, unless they can guide them to a positive path. Unless they can cultivate the attitude of gratitude.

Everyday, be thankful for all the gifts that you’ve been given. And if on some days you’re really struggling to find that gratitude, just remember that life itself is a gift. Health is a gift. Family is a gift. Love is a gift. Just having the option to reflect on your gifts is a gift in and of itself.

Being grateful is one of the core values of my existence, and I try to practice it all day, every day. Human language could never adequately express the gratitude I have for the people who have helped me move from the shadow to the light. Every single day I remind myself of this gratitude. When I take time to say thank you, I find I have so many things to be thankful for. When I give praise and gratitude, my life immediately feels more full.

So please, do yourself a favor, and embrace the gifts that you’ve been given.

 

 

Mill P

Fear

 

“Fear is the ruling emotion of the world. Fear takes so many forms, that it would take an eternity for me to go through them all with you. For many people, fear is all-pervasive. It is the driving force behind their lives…”

-Demons Within, The Woman in the Park

 

Alcoholism and addiction are experienced in different ways by different people, though the feelings and repercussions associated with the diseases have thorough commonalities amongst individuals. One consistent element is that alcoholism and addiction are chronic relapsing disorders with significant morbidity and mortality. In other words, if you don’t deal with it, you die. You cause endless suffering for yourself, and for those witnessing your slow and painful death, helplessly awaiting an end to the anguish.

And whether the end is successfully defeating the disease and living a vigilant life of spirituality and recovery, or passing out of the land of the living and succumbing to the demons within, the waiting game for active addiction to end is mentally and physically strenuous, emotionally demanding, and almost unbearably burdensome.

Amongst the seemingly limitless roadblocks to overcoming addiction is fear. Fear affects almost every living being on this Earth, to the point that if one does not have fear, they are considered a psychopath. Fear is one of the predominant driving forces of mankind, but it is particularly troublesome for addicts and alcoholics.

Fear keeps you trapped in addiction. Fear of leaving behind the comfortable and familiar misery despite knowing it’s destroying your life. Fear of facing life’s challenges without a chemical crutch. Fear of the unknown. Fear of loss, and fear of love. Fear of failure, and sometimes even fear of success. And fears tend to escalate when left unchecked, extending into more and more avenues of life, leading to further restrictions on activities, and eventually culminating in total immobilization because of excruciating anxiety.

Anxiety tends to obsess about why you should be afraid, creating an inescapable thought-loop of everything that could go wrong, and every way you could be harmed. But a situation doesn’t become more dangerous because you keep thinking about it. It’s still just a thought, and thoughts themselves are harmless unless the thinker gives them power.

Fear is associated with our survival, so it is given a special accord in our mind. It doesn’t help that fear has been monetized by the media, broadcasting a constant flow of the negative realities of life into our headspace with news stories and headlines on murder and mayhem. And we allow such things to take charge of our minds, handing the reigns over to the newspapers, magazines, TV broadcasts, conversations, and chance remarks from friends and strangers. Fear is constantly advertised, and it is one of life’s most successful salesmen.

And while fear is convincing, it doesn’t make it right. The only way to get out of the fear is to face it. To not hide from reality, and to learn about the roots of said fear and figure out how to manage it effectively.

Repressing the fear just strengthens it over time, and numbing the fear with alcohol or drugs is like dousing the flame of fear in gasoline. People often spend so much time and energy pushing away the thoughts and fears, because society has been conditioned to believe that contemplating bad thoughts is wrong. And while some minor qualms may go away when ignored, most bad thoughts have a sticky quality to them. But delay, repression, and numbing with drink and drugs makes it much harder to release the old, fearful energies when you finally decide that they must be confronted.

Instead of ruminating and worrying about the things that make you feel fear, you need to go directly to the feeling and move that energy from your soul. You must become aware that you have a choice to either hold on to that fear, or to let it go. Investigate the fear, meditate and reflect on it, journal and write on it, talk to trusted people about it, and find gratitude in the situation despite the distressful nature of it. It boils down to taking action, and doing whatever it takes to get the fear out.

And once we deal with the fear, and no longer resist it, we can let it go. The energy that was tied up in fear is relinquished, and it becomes available to shine forth as the energy of love. And with love, you can find stillness and peace. At any time, you can bring your mind back to the moment, and bring your attention and awareness back to the peace of living free from fear.

So deal with your fears, and get after it. Get out there. Ask for help. Workout. Learn new skills. Make genuine connections with people. Live with purpose and passion. God didn’t put us on this Earth to sit alone in fear, worrying about the reality of life. He put us on this Earth to love.

 

Mill P

 

Today I Escaped Anxiety

 A new piece by....Me

Mill P

This Moment

 

“….you treat the present moment as an obstacle, a roadblock to peace. Then, before you know it…they are gone. They return to the formless nothingness of which they came from. And though they consumed you when they were here, were they ever even real?”

-Demons Within

 

This Moment.

My thoughts drift to the past, dwelling in misery.

My thoughts fly right through the present, ignoring the Moment with dismissive determination, and they begin to worry about the future.

Emotions and compulsive reactivity stir up, washing over me like a wall of water and a wave of woe.

Anger, resentment, sadness, madness, and despair.

Jealousy, spite, and envy of the others that I compare

Am I, as the observer of these emotions, also the embodiment of said emotions?

NO!

I am the watcher, the Being, and the deep consciousness of life.

I am not the Ego, the voice in my head, perpetually distorting reality as a dysfunction of the moment.

The Ego, always reacting, never responding, with an insatiable hunger that feeds off pain and pity.

The Ego, ignoring the present, being fueled and fed by attaching feelings to the past and future.

The Ego, deny that the past and future don’t even exist, and only act as an obstacle to that which does:

This Moment.

I am the consciousness that is aware of the Ego.

I am separate, and I am alive.

Men are not disturbed by things, but by their perception of them.

Things actually happen, perceptions do not.

Things happen, and that is it!

Reacting to things with anything other than acceptance is going against the very nature of reality.

Acceptance does not mean being a pushover, a passive bystander, or a persistent victim.

Acceptance is sincerely knowing that suffering happens in life.

Acceptance is realizing that this too shall pass!

Each Moment, regardless of the starving Ego labeling things as good, bad, frustrating or unfair…will pass!

No matter how hard it seems…

Accepting hardship is the pathway to peace.

So move on.

Handle your business with honesty, integrity, and humility.

But always move on…

To the next moment…

To This Moment.

Mill P

Demons Within, a story of hope and despair, spiritual discovery, and a good old fashioned crime thriller, is almost here! Coming soon in Hardcover, Paperback, and eBook formats...

Mother Knows Best

 

“A mother is your first friend, your best friend, and your forever friend….”

-Unknown

 

Normally, these blog posts and essays start with a quote from Demons Within that directly ties into the topic and themes of what I write. However, due to the nature and content of the Demons Within story, in most cases when the word mother is written, it is immediately followed by the word fucker.

And that, my friends, is not what I’m going for today.

In an upcoming essay, I talk about the importance of starting your day with gratitude, and every day, I thank God that He woke me up and gave me another twenty four hours to do what needs to be done. But immediately after giving God thanks, I always reflect on how grateful I am to have my mom.

I’m grateful for my mom because she isn’t just my mom, she’s one of my best friends, my staunchest and most loyal supporter, and the emotional backbone to my entire family when things started to get bad. She provided the holding place for everyone’s feelings, and did whatever she could to keep others from being hurt. When I was spiraling to the darkness, and the bottom of my rock bottom was quickly approaching, she was the trampoline on the floor that bounced me back to life.

And no matter how much shit I put my family and myself through, my mom, like most mothers, is forgiving. One of the most valuable gifts she has given me is leading by example, and teaching me how to open my heart and drop my resentments. That alone would make me feel grateful every day, but it barely scratches the surface.

It’s often said that ‘mother’ is a verb, and the natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. And I couldn’t agree more. Before we are even born, mothers have to put up with all the challenges of pregnancy, and I will never understand how they do it. I can’t even function if I overdo it at the Italian Club Breakfast Buffet, so how mothers can handle nine months of bearing a child is beyond comprehension. And that’s before the kid is even born, and before the real mothering begins.

My mom never made me feel like I needed to earn her love, and she was always there for me. Getting involved at school, packing lunches, doing laundry, cooking and cleaning, driving me to out-of-state basketball tournaments (and oftentimes getting lost), putting up with my bad behavior in school, and a million other things that I can’t recall as I’m writing this. What I do recall though, is that raising me was a full time job. And that is ridiculous to think about now, because my mom had an actual full time job the whole time. How she did it, I don’t know. I can humbly say that I would’ve given up on me, especially before I found my path and started to live life with love and purpose...but maybe even sooner. 

It’s no coincidence that we feel so calm, peaceful, and spiritually nourished when we get to spend some time in nature. When we breathe in and exhale the fresh air, we experience the kind of energy that touches us at the root level of feeling safe and cared for. And that is why it is called Mother Nature. Because that kind of energy is only ever replicated by a mother’s love.

A mother’s eyes and ears see and hear everything. And you can rest assured that they will give their opinion on everything they see and hear. When you’re a kid, and even when you’re an adult, you may not like some of your mother’s opinions. But they don’t say ‘Mother knows best’ for no reason.

From the moment we’re born, mothers work hard and make sacrifices so our lives will be better, and it is certainly not just when we are babies. Because mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but they hold their hearts forever. No matter what your age, you will always need your mom. And that’s just facts.

So make Mother’s Day special for her. It’s difficult for words to express what needs to be expressed to the person who helped you walk and talk, fed and clothed you, and gave you everything she possibly could, no matter the cost. But, I did my best, and will continue to do so for as long as I live.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Thank You.

 

Mill P

Contemplating Death

 

“Death doesn’t make life pointless. It makes it purposeful. Why squander that purpose?”

-The Woman in the Park, Demons Within

 

Death is the one certainty of life, and the one experience that is common to all. And we fear it. We fear death because as humans, we have been conditioned to be loss averse¸ and our natural impulses favor survival.

It’s not just the actuality of death that we fear, we even fear talking about it. Death is considered obscene and atrocious, and is often outright avoided in polite conversation. We have adopted phrases to replace the word dead after someone dies. Phrases like “they passed away,” “they have departed,” “they lost their battle,” or “they are resting in peace.” And while death and the process that often precedes it can certainly be painful, both mentally and physically to the dying, and emotionally to the loved ones that bear witness, it should not be left in the recesses of the mind, pushed away from awareness, and purposely avoided at all costs.

This is because the ultimate truth is that death is the greatest teacher in the world.

Sounds morbid, doesn’t it? It’s not. Sure, there is a dark side to contemplating death, specifically when venturing into suicidal ideations, despondently yearning for death to happen before nature intends, or attempting to speed up the inevitable by turning the suicidal ideations into suicidal actions.

But that’s not what I am talking about.

Virtually every great thinker and philosopher since the evolution of complex human thought has concluded that death is inextricably a part of life, and that lifelong contemplation and consideration of the inevitable end of bodily consciousness actually enriches rather than impoverishes life.

Just the possibility of death has the power to teach us. At any moment, you can take your last breath. It could happen at any time, in any place, during any activity, no matter what the doctors say and what image of health you see reflecting back in the mirror.

If you hold on to anger, jealousy, envy, and resentment, think about what will happen when death takes you. Think about all the times you were callous to loved ones, or jealous of people who got too close to your partner, or envious of the things another person has, or resentful of perceived injustices that you allowed yourself to fall victim to. The times you chose to blame, and the times that you rationalized your anger, and allowed your ego to convince yourself that your anger was justified, instead of seeking to forgive and find compassion. Take a look at how much time and energy you have put into mindless activities, self-pity, people-pleasing, gossip, and all around negative thinking.  And if you knew you were going to die in a week, how would you change things?

A beautifully profound passage in Michael A. Singer’s The Untethered Soul hammers home the point:

“Let’s say you’re living life without the thought of death, and the Angel of Death comes to you and says, “Come, it’s time to go.” You say, “But no. You’re supposed to give me a warning so I can decide what I want to do with my last week. I’m supposed to get one more week.” Do you know what Death will say to you? He’ll say, “My God! I gave you fifty-two weeks this past year alone. And look at all the other weeks I’ve given you. Why would you need one more? What did you do with all those?” If asked that, what are you going to say? How will you answer? “I wasn’t paying attention… I didn’t think it mattered.”

Acknowledging our own mortality can renew our appreciation for the gift of life. Reflection on the unpredictable and inevitable nature of death can pull us out of the pitfalls of our daily lives and routine. It can revitalize our soul and ambitions, take us out of auto-pilot, alter our mindlessly conditioned habits and rote rituals, dissolve our petty grievances, and enhance the gratitude we have for moments we share with those we love.

What if you knew the next person you see is the last person you are ever going to see? You would be there. You would be present. And you would savor the experience, no matter what the person is saying. You would simply enjoy the conversation, knowing that it is the last one you will have while your spirit still resides in your body, before you drift off through the veil, and into the unknown. Before you are dead.

Now imagine brining that powerful awareness to every interaction you ever have. Your life wouldn’t change…but you would. Because death gives meaning to life. It is your friend and ally, your eternal liberator, and your reminder that every moment is not actually yours, and can be taken without warning.

Don’t fear death, but learn what this great teacher is telling you, and watch as you begin to live a full life. If death didn’t exist, would life even be precious?

No matter if you live three years or three hundred, you can only lose the life that you live, and you can have no other life but the one you lose. Whether living for a short time or a long time, it all amounts to the same thing, because the present moment is the same for everyone, and the present moment is the only time that truly exists. And this is why death seems so momentary. You cannot lose the past or the future, but you can only be deprived of the present moment, so someone who dies young does not lose even a slight bit more than someone who dies old. Life exists with or without you, so while you still have it, take advantage of it, and let nothing hold you back from purpose and prosperity.

 

Mill P

The Things I Would Do

The Things I Would Do is one of many performative pieces I have created.

 Listen and get inspired: